Wife for Life by Ramona Zabriskie is the best marriage book I have ever read--and I’ve read a lot of them! The author Ramona Zabriskie starts the book by detailing how, as a relative newlywed, she wanted to divorce her husband, and how everyone in her life said that she should--because after all, he really was a jerk! Just days from signing the divorce papers however, she had a change of heart and decided to keep working at it.
This book is a collection of Ramona’s horrifying mistakes (her poor husband!), inspiring lessons learned (her lucky husband!), and is chock full of examples that you and I can both relate to. It is by turns entertaining, cringe-inducing and full of lessons that go straight to your heart. As one of my friends who is in her (happy) second marriage, mused thoughtfully, “I wonder if I had read this book earlier, if I would still be married to my first husband.” It certainly gives you a lot to think about.
Ramona’s biggest goal is to help women understand the men in their lives better. She does this so well, that not only do I “get” my husband better, but I understand my sons and other males in my life much better than I used to. Ramona is also completely relatable, and that is one reason she resonates so strongly with everyone I know who has read her book. In addition, I love how she shows how much power women have, and that to fix our marriages, we usually just need to fix ourselves. So that there isn’t any misunderstanding, this isn’t done in a self-loathing type of way, it is hopeful, it is empowering, it is uplifting!
One of her most poignant examples of the power women have in their marriages is how sometimes we turn into a “crazy lady”. By turns, our crazy lady can depress, shame, betray, or treat our husbands as being irrelevant. When we do this, our marriage slowly withers and dies. When I read this book, I was in a pretty good place in my marriage. But as I read the examples of the crazy ladies, I was shocked as I recognized myself in each and every one! I was not treating my husband as well as I had imagined. It was a really good wake up call to examine my words, my actions and even my thoughts, as I try to love and respect my husband the way I truly want to.
The best gift a mother can give her child is a happy, secure home. When parents are fighting, children suffer. By learning Ramona’s invaluable lessons, moms not only protect their children from this division, but they also teach lessons of love, patience, empowerment, respect, team building and unity. Those are lessons I want my daughter--and sons--to learn. I want them to have successful marriages of their own. This book teaches me how to teach them, and my husband is the happier for it!
Community Question: If you have read the book, what was your favorite take away?
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